The Boys of Vanderpump Rules! 1 HAUTE MESS or 1 Hot Mess

So in our last post we had the ladies from Vanderpump Rules in the hot seat, now it’s the men’s turn. And yes! Men can definitely be 1 HAUTE MESS or 1 Hot Mess too. If you’re not familiar with the difference between 1 HAUTE MESS and 1 Hot Mess, 1 HAUTE MESS, according to eSVYN, means:

“Anyone who works hard, plays hard, doesn’t take themselves too seriously but knows their worth”

However 1 Hot Mess just means you’re straight crazy. LOL! Not clinically of course because we could never clinically diagnose anyone or would we ever. We just mean that you’re a really attractive mess.

So let’s get into the guys!! And first up is Beau Clark.

We love Beau! I mean, how can you not! He’s funny at the right times, he knows when to be compassionate and when to ramp up his energy if someone’s coming for his girlfriend but, he doesn’t over-ramp it up, if you will. He knows how to get his point across without being disrespectful or making people feel like they’re being attacked. He just has that lovable face and character type. Beau!! You are 1 HAUTE MESS in our book!

Next, we have James Kennedy.

James, James, James. You know…. we really want to root for the guy but he makes it so hard for us. Watching him sometimes is such a trainwreck that we actually cover our eyes and feel terrified in our own home. The whole eggshell dance or trigger word thing must be exhausting for others who communicate with him on a daily. Yikes James! I mean it’s pretty obvious where this one is headed… 1 Hot Mess Kid!!

Let’s talk about Tom Schwartz.

Schwartzy!! Hey Buddy!! He’s pretty calm, cool and collected, save from a few crazy fights he’d have with his girlfriend (now wife Katie) but hey! We all know how that goes… slinging mud across the bow and then you quickly apologize and make up. He’s like a really cool court jester, the one that can really entertain you when times are sad. We all know that hind sight is 20/20 and he’s your future voice of reason. He’s the “kindness is mistaken for weakness” type but he’s far from weak. He’s the “village idiot” type but he’s far from an idiot. He’s like a dark horse. I mean look he has his freaking name on the front of a building. Ha Ha!! Well played Tom Schwartz. You are 1 HAUTE MESS.

Let’s move along now to Tom Sandoval.

Ok. Tom is cool, suave, a schmoozer… He’s that guy who will charm you with his chisel looks and his trendy clothes. But here at eSVYN we don’t know. Actually you know what? We do know. He often times will pull out his passport and take a trip to crazy town too (like we said about Scheana and Lala in our previous post.) He doesn’t take constructive criticism quite well and it’s really hard to get a clean apology from him without him explaining how you were wrong in the first place, that’s why I was forced to do, say or act out how I did. He’s a life of any party and he has a relationship with his girlfriend, Ariana, that’s super stellar but… sometimes his britches can get too large for its stitches… Tom Sandy!! You are 1 Hot Mess.

Now we cannot forget about Jax Taylor!

Oh boy! Lol! Why we laugh? Because he’s a trainwreck that you just can’t turn away from.

How do you solve a problem like Jax Taylor?

How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?

How do we find a word that means Jax Taylor?

A flibbertjjbbet! A will-o’-the wisp! A clown!

We kid… that’s from The Sound of Music where the nuns are trying to figure Maria out. But really though, Jax is of a different pedigree. But hey he obviously has that “je ne sais quoi” (French for I don’t know what) because he landed him quite the catch with Brittany. He definitely has cleaned up though since being with her, in our humble opinion. He 100% hands down used to be 1 Hot Mess but we’re really loving the effort that he puts forth to keep his relationship intact. The problem is that he can have these bursts of terrifying acts that really can be inconceivable. But we know that we have to make a hard choice here so we’re just going to have to go with 1 Hot Mess Jax! But we have our good eye on you.

Now of course we can’t for get about Ken! (That’s Mr. Vanderpump to you).

Now we love Ken because we could call him Mr. Vanderpump, it won’t phase him, not even in the tiniest bit. He is so unbothered, totally chill and never over-whelmed however, you make an off-color remark about his wife (Lisa V) and he’ll cut a bish. Yes!! We love Ken! You defend your bride!!! And in our book that makes you 1 HAUTE MESS!!

Cheerio

The Girls of Vanderpump Rules! 1 HAUTE MESS or 1 HOT MESS

The girls of Vanderpump Rules are they 1 haute mess or 1 hot mess eSVYN.com has the answer

In our previous post we talked about what 1 HAUTE MESS means to us here at eSVYN verses the different meanings that it has all over the web. To us 1 HAUTE MESS means:

“Someone who works hard, plays hard, doesn’t take themselves too seriously but knows their worth.”

And in our last post that is linked above we had some fun naming some celebrity characters who we thought were 1 HAUTE MESS. But today in this blog post we are going to talk about the difference between 1 HAUTE MESS and 1 Hot Mess and we will use the female cast of Vanderpump Rules to explain our differences.

So before we begin we would just like to preface this by saying that we love the whole cast of Vanderpump Rules and we have our DVR set as to never miss a train-wreck moment of it, and with that being said, let’s dive right in.

So now that we know the meaning of 1 HAUTE MESS let’s explain 1 Hot Mess.

According to the Dictionary.com A Hot Mess means:

“A disorganized person or chaotic situation. In some uses, a person described as a hot mess is attractive but just barely keeping it together.”

Now here at eSVYN if we call you a Hot Mess we don’t think that you are spectacularly unsuccessful or disordered but we do think that you are a source of peculiar fascination (as quoted in the Oxford Dictionary) and of course attractive but just barely keeping it together. Now that we got that out of the way let’s have some fun.

First up is Stassi Schroeder.

Stassi Schroeder cast of vanderpump rules is she 1 haute mess or 1 hot mess eSVYN.com has the answer

Stassi is a straight up kind of girl which we find very refreshing. She used to have a ton of boyfriend problems when she was with Jax but now she’s found her Zen with Beau and we couldn’t be happier for her. She used to have what she called the “Dark Passenger” but she figured out a way to rid herself of it. Being 1 HAUTE MESS doesn’t mean that you’re flawless, it means that you have tons of flaws but you know how to navigate through them all and you’re able to dust yourself off and not stay the victim. You get stuff done. Way to go Stassi. You are 1 HAUTE MESS.

Next up is Kristen Doute.

Kristen Doute caste of vanderpump rules is she 1 haute mess or 1 hot mess  eSVYN.com has the answer

Eek!! We love you Kristen but the whole flip flopping ways that you have with Carter can be a little exhausting. We get that it’s your way and all and that you have to figure things out for yourself and that’s fine. We still love you but because of this it makes you 1 Hot Mess.

Up next is the Tom Tom wife and wifey, Katie Maloney Schwartz and Ariana Madix respectively.

Katie Maloney Schwartz.  Is she 1 HAUTE MESS or a Hot Mess eSVYN.com has the answer
Ariana Madix cast of vanderpump rules is she 1 haute mess or a hot mess eSVYN.com has the answer

We’re really loving how the two girls carefully respect each other when they have a disagreement or better yet when their baes have disagreements. They naturally know how to get their points across without blowing up the whole situation which could lead them to a place where the business partners could never recover from. Well done ladies. You both are 1 HAUTE MESS.

Up next is Scheana Shay.

Scheana Shay cast of vanderpump rules is she 1 haute mess or 1 hot mess eSVYN.com has the answer

Hmm… We’re on the fence about her. We love all of her montages, “I’m freezing my eggs” “He’s my best friend” “Good as Gold.” And she always brings the tears which is hilarious to watch. She can sometimes pull her passport though and cross the border over on into crazy town but it would be a quick trip and she’ll fly right back. I guess we’ll say that we’re on the fence on this one but if we had to pick a side we’d have to pick 1 Hot Mess. Sorry Scheana.

Next let’s talk about Brittany Cartwright and Raquel Leviss.

Brittany Cartwright cast of vanderpump rules is she 1 haute mess or 1 hot mess eSVYN.com has the answer
Raquel Leviss cast of vanderpump rules is she 1 haute mess or 1 hot mess eSVYN.com has the answer

They both are very soft spoken, doe-eyed and couldn’t bare to kill a fly. What’s interesting is that they both are with guys who are the exact opposite of them. Like to the extreme opposite. Hmmm. Interesting. I guess opposites really do attract. Anyway while Brittany is very light-hearted, always laughing and up beat, Raquel seems more stoic. She obviously has a very high tolerance for pain, “*cough*James*cough*”. She was so hilarious when Lisa Vanderpump almost fired her for missing her shift during Pride and she was pretty much begging to keep her job. I mean how could anyone say no to that face! So sweet. But sorry Raquel, here at eSVYN we have to say that you’re 1 Hot Mess. And Brittany you are 1 HAUTE MESS.

Dayna Kathan cast of vanderpump rules 1 haute mess or 1 hot mess esvyn.com has the answer

Dayna Kathan is pretty new to the hit show but from what we have gathered from her we will say that she is 1 HAUTE MESS. We liked how she handled the whole situation with frenemy Scheana. Good job Dayna.

Lala Kent cast of vanderpump rules 1 haute mess or 1 hot mess esvyn.com has the answer

Finally we have Lala Kent. Hmm. Like Scheana, we are on the fence with Lala. Don’t get us wrong we love her but she likes to pull her passport too, like a lot more than even Scheana. I mean she’s obviously intelligent, she likes to use bigger words and she often tries to be the voice of reason but sometimes that moxy can be too overwhelming. We know that we have to pick one so we’re going to go with 1 Hot Mess. Sorry girly.

But of course we cannot forget the one, the only Ms Queen Bee herself, Lisa Vanderpump who obviously Rules. And hands down here without question, she is… you guessed it 1 HAUTE MESS. Cue the harps.

Lisa Vanderpump of Vanderpump Rules 1 haute mess or 1 hot mess esvyn.com has the answer

eSVYN

Athleisure Wear with Attitude

                                             The 5 Celebrities We Think are 1 HAUTE MESS & Loving It

1HM IMAGE FOR WEBSITE

 

There are a lot of definitions that are floating around the internet with different explanation of a HAUTE MESS:

“Someone who is both a babe and a state, an impressively unsuccessful, muddle of a person that somehow pulls off a shambolic look.”

“A person who envisions him or herself to be extremely stylish (haute couture) but in actuality is certainly not. A more extreme hot mess.”

“A mix of off-trend, uncool and anachronistic pieces, cobbled together carelessly and that somehow work.”

But here at eSVYN we are 1 HAUTE MESS & Loving It because to be 1 HAUTE MESS to us means:

“They are a person who works hard, plays hard, doesn’t take themselves too seriously but they know their worth.”

And 5 celebrities who we think demonstrate the very definition are demonstrated in the characters that they have played, (since we don’t know any of these celebs personally).

Celebrity number 1 is Jennifer Lopez in the Wedding Planner.

Who can forget the part where she got her heel stuck in the sewer grate and the garbage can was coming for her!! LOL!! It was lucky that she had a handsome man to swoop in and save her.

Celebrity number 2 is Sandra Bullock in in Miss Congeniality.

This was classic when she walks out like a model and takes a hard fall at the end of the runway. She doesn’t take herself too seriously, because she’s able to recover quickly without a bruised ego.

Celebrity number 3 is Kerry Washington in Scandal.

Here she is drinking a coffee because she works super hard quarterbacking the Oval but make no mistake, this girl can play hard as she demonstrates when she chugs wine from the bottle.

Celebrity number 4 is Jill Marie Jones in Girlfriends.

“I’m Toni Childs and I specialize in results!” Hahaha. She is a perfect 1 HAUTE MESS with just the right amount of spunk and crazy balanced to perfection.

And even though we can go on and on our final celebrity character is Fran Drescher.

Drop the mike.